Saturday, June 22, 2013

Rule #4

For the love of God

As you may have deduced with wits I hope are sharper than those of the FBI unit in NBC's Hannibal, this list continues on from last week's deceptively titled 'Rule #1' on the social media faux pas committed by a) the regular user and b) the filmies. And without further ado...

Rule #4: wishing people who aren't on Facebook a Happy Birth/Mother's/Father's Day or Fourth of July or Groundhog Day or whatever it is any of you celebrate. "Happy Father's Day to the world's greatest dad!" Is your dad on Facebook? No? So wait, he didn't even read that message? No? Do you have your dad's phone number? Yes? Would that have been more personal? For him to hear your voice? You know.... just putting that out there. Stop it.*

*the geeky/obsessive exception to this rule is when wishing pop culture icons/people who inspire you a happy birthday. If you do this, avoid looking like a hipster know-it-all and reference these people's works, preferrably by including a link to who they are/what they've done.

Rule #5: don't abuse social media privacy privileges or it will come back to haunt you and will become a nightmare worse than any horror film you've ever seen. Security on social media, and email for that matter, is more flimsy than 2008 Grammy's J-Lo. Cyber safety is currently a huge issue - treat the hidden coves of your social media existence as if they were public. Is there anything you wouldn't want your bosses to read? Any politically sensitive material? Offensive to where you live/work? Get rid of it.

Rule #6: documenting your every movement is silly because a) if you're Foursquare'ing all your locations, you are like a walking blimp for stalkers**, b) noone cares that you just made John a cake and that you are now having a cup of tea and that you are now watching a film and in another hour will watch another film and in another hour will discuss how awesome this film is with everyone on Twitter until you are all spent and retire to your bat caves digitally exhausted and ready to re-boot for another day with your pixel families and c) it's annoying. Moderation is key.

**security settings can help here, but really, why do we all need to know you were at Burger King and are now at the pub and are now back home? WHO CARES?

Are you guilty of any of these? Do you have any SM pet peeves?

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