The ABCs of Arab Entertainment

From the multiple genre-encompassing glory of Shadia, Soad Hosny, Farid al-Atrash and Duraid Lahham to the state of Arab entertainment today, something somewhere has gone terribly pear-shaped. Even Sherihan's mental fawazeer series is unmatched amidst the sea of uninspiring Nishan's and Ahlam's. Razan Moughrabi is now being hailed one of Arab television's rising stars, butt implants have become a prerequisite for aspiring Syrian and Lebanese actresses... and that, ya 7abaybi, is only the beginning. The below is a starter list of things wrong with the state of Arab television*:

1. The result of a Google images search for Arab series crops up stills from Turkish shows (Muhannad ruined it for everyone else really), something censored and (snooze) historic television. I'm so bored I'm considering not writing this list anymore.

2. Collagen, hair extensions, coloured lenses and wigs are a must.

3. Our reality shows are a) 95% ripped off and/or franchises and b) hosted by the least charistmatic personalities in Arab entertainment.

 Oh, Ahlam.

4. Most of our original series storylines are about strife and pain and war. Things that are even slightly inspired are lifted off external sources (and still find a way to be about pain and strife and war), i.e. Sana3ood Ba3d Kaleel and Everybody's Fine.

 

5. Is a character in a nightclub? They're probably doing something bad. Because clubs are bad places where people drink bad things, etc.

What would you add this list?


*I write this list in jest but also with hopes that the standard of our entertainment offerings elevates itself once again to something we can be proud of. Arab cinema is once again making a name for itself - fingers crossed Arab television picks up too.

An Egyptian Emergency

Due to my residing in the Middle East (Qatar), several people have questioned me for more recent updates to what's happening in Egypt right now. The following is some of the latest news, some on the ground, and mainly from Al Jazeera staff, currently doing a brilliant job of keeping the public informed in spite of their broadcast HQ in Cairo being shut down late last night. Please also find links to some interesting articles, surfacing as a result of the telecommunications holocaust the Egyptian government has enforced:

Come On Baby, Light My Fireworks

Like you, I’m not very fond of the quintessential party pooper, skulking round in the corner, moping and crapping all over everyone’s booze-induced state of euphoria. However, this year I am going to be your party pooper; only because whilst the rest of you lounge about on your couches, eating bacon butties and watching reruns of Life on Mars (as you should on a Sunday and the start of the bloody year) I am back at work, wrapping up deadlines and the like.

Banksy does The Simpsons... Again

Everyone’s talking about last night’s Simpsons episode and the stellar satire Banksy spun on the opening credits. The opening sequence starts off as normal while slowly things crumble and unfold, revealing what is pretty much a provocative response to accusations from various parties, claiming that makers of The Simpsons use ‘unorthodox’ means in episode production.

The NeverEnding Learning Curve

I’ve been going on about my job search for a while now and to be completely honest, there are days when I all I want to do is pack it all in and hurl abuse; at the countless recruiters, in-house human resource management teams and even at the poor automated response systems churning out hundreds of we- regret- to- inform- you’s a day.

Self-Delusion, Self-Loathing and Al Jazeera - Part 3

Yesterday I interrupted my Al Jazeera series to get stuck into the heated debate over the Pope's state visit to the UK. Although I know lots of you are still hemorrhaging indignant outcries surrounding said visit, I can only hope these protests give you the peace of mind you are searching for. Now back to business...

My qualms with the recruitment processes of renowned media networks, such as Al Jazeera, BBC, most definitely Sky, the CNN, etc, have recently aligned themselves with my disdain over the manner  of social interaction these broadcast giants exercise. The personable nature - or lack thereof - of said organisations has cast me into a deep funk of late. And not the groovy, James Brown, Chaka Khan, 'dance 'til you feel betta' kinda funk.  

Our emotions are based on our beliefs about the world. Categorisation, cliches, stereotypes and blatant branding of content has consumers conveniently packed into niches for which mass media is now produced (see: Weeds). Obviously, this is not rocket science, we are all bright individuals who are aware of the evils of biased television, la di da. I am sure we are also all aware of the spread of this 'uniform' packaging of information across the internet - enter Google Instant - or more specifically, within social media. 

Then why are we still buying into said uniformity?  

Recently, I came across a TED Talk with computer scientist and author extraordinaire, Jonathan Harris. In his talk, Harris discussed his fascination with human emotion through mediums that have now become more common than personal social interaction, i.e. blogging and microblogging.

As a storyteller, Harris’s infamous ‘We Feel Fine’ and ‘Universe’ projects have helped the Vermonter allow everyday internet users to tell their stories. His ultimate goal? To guide the evolution of the internet into a space we will still have the desire to inhabit in the future. For us to further harbour this desire, Harris claims that this ‘planetary meta-organism’ must honour both the individual and the human collective - just like real life should do. Cue the fountain of incorrigible, regurgitated media headlines. 

A search result from 'We Feel Fine'. I searched emotions in the USA, for the date Pastor Terry Jones made his statement about burning the Qur'an

It often feels like the media addresses its audience as cattle. Headlines are often spewed as if from the same, mind- numbing, socially uniform media machine, inadvertently insulting its audience, with the emotional intelligence to recognise the cookie-cutter formulas plastered on our television screens, day after day.

Not unlike recruiters, that have recently strewn my naively ideal sense of justice across a gravelly road and run over it repetitively with a ten- tonne tractor, the media has forgotten what its purpose is. They are not here only to inform. They are here to instigate, revitalise and educate. Their mission is not complete without an emotion- fueled reaction. 

None of this is possible without emotive communication. THIS is why Al Jazeera should hire me. You may know your news, but I know people. I am one of those people. 

‘Nope to the Pope?’ Oh, Come On

The Pope is coming to Britain and you are all very, very angry. Yes, we know. Now, before you skip this entire article to hurl abuse at me, take a moment to actually digest what it is I’m trying to say here.

To begin with, let’s get one thing straight: I am not a fan of the Pope. For the sake of journalistic objectivity, I wont pursue this statement further. I will, however, indulge you with a little background information as to why this current furor is grating on my nerves worse than a freshly manicured Jersey girl on a chalkboard.

I was raised a Christian. STOP. Wait. Continue reading. No, not Catholic – although my father was raised as such, was taught by nuns, the works, etc – but Christian. My mum’s family is of Christian Orthodox descent. As a doctor, my mother often questioned religion and its possible integration with the theory of evolution, affording my siblings and I the opportunity to make up our own minds about what we wanted to believe.

Needless to say, after being exposed to some of the arguments against the faith, I slowly lost the desire to belong. Not to Christianity, but to organised religion as a whole. I have my own set of beliefs now, based around what I am comfortable living with on a day- to- day basis. I do, however, respect other people’s choices – although I may not agree with them – and have friends of various religious backgrounds. I believe in interaction based on personal merit, rather than a set of beliefs.

The Catholic Church has long been recognised for its unforgiving nature. From the condemnation of one of the greatest physicists the world will ever know, (see: Galileo), the age- old opposition of gay rights, the now numerous cases of paedophilic activity and so forth. Over the last decade, the media has had a field day with the evident and arguably increasing corruptness of the church, with apologies being issued by the Vatican and the Pope, at large for such.

Clearly, I have my issues with the aforementioned facts. I believe science reinforces my personal ‘seeing is believing’ motto, have partied alongside the loveliest people in the world in Sydney Mardi Gras – who’s legal rights should not even be questioned as far as I’m concerned – and have had my own personal experiences with the deep scarring that comes from a broken trust.

My qualms simply lie in the empty factoids regurgitated by the media that fuel some of the most useless commentary I have heard from people I consider intelligent. My issue is not with the distaste and frustration, no. I’m not even English and I found myself throwing a Rocky-esque air pump whilst watching Stephen Fry’s statement via the BBC surrounding the classification of the said visit as ‘state’. Why should the average UK tax- payer help fund this event? I don’t believe they should.

This matter cant get any more personal for me, so I feel I am safe in saying I am not presenting myself in a hypocritical light when I say this, but enough with the Pope songs. Enough with the ‘I wonder if we can pope people on Facebook today instead of poke’ and the blatant cussing. I appreciate the outcry against this now inevitable occurrence; I too have been a victim of the trust based in a faith system that turned incredibly sour.

But instead of ordering a ‘Nope to the Pope’ t-shirt, how about looking up the names of the families within the UK that have been touched by such injustices (there are links to websites, help lines and much more online) and sending through words of support when they are bound to feel most vulnerable? Better yet, why not do something CRAZY and opt to speak with someone who looks upon the Pope’s visit in a favourable light. Ask them why. I for one would love to know. No, don’t call them insane whilst pointing a finger and laughing.

I am not the authority on anything, but I love to learn. I enjoy listening to people’s personal accounts because an emotive expression always trumps a mass machine-spewed headline. It also trumps foolish outbursts like ‘f*** the Pope’.


Ps. If you'd like a look at what some journos have been saying, check out these clips/articles that I found interesting: Catholic Herald columnist Milo Yiannopoulos, The Telegraph's Judith Woods, Al Jazeera, CAFOD's Pascale Palmer.

Disclaimer: This post is in no way meant to belittle people’s personal experiences. The author does not, by means of this article, intend to undermine any faith or belief. This piece is purely intended to encourage discussion as opposed to ridicule. 

Self-Delusion, Self-Loathing and Al Jazeera - Part 2

Al Jazeera has been around a lot longer than the younger media generation care to remember. Founded in 1996 via Emiri decree (a rule/decision handed down from the Head of State), the network has come to terms with more challenges than any other Arab-based news network in history. With legions of avid followers balanced out by equal doses of harsh critique, it is without doubt that Al Jazeera continues to build on its already formidable media empire, going from strength to strength within the industry.

Considering my previous post about the rejection from an exec producer at AJE London, my question is: What does it take to work at Al Jazeera? Clearly, from the producer's response, I do not have the right experience. Let's discuss this shall we? 

I hold a Masters degree in Social Change and Development, where social transformation is key. Social transformation is the shift of a particular cultural mindset within the context of a nation, a peoples, a government, etc, and as influenced by culture, politics, history, the economy and so on. 

As an equipped social impact assessment trainee, I have researched the effects of the Westernisation of Bollywood on the Indian film industry, and in effect it’s one billion plus fans. A reflection on ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and its counter effects, would make a brilliant episode for AJE's ‘48’, don’t you think? 

I have also delved into the Southeast/South Asian labour movement to the Middle East and the local/regional minorities that suffer at the loss of a potentially promising local workforce. There’s another idea for you Amanda Palmer. 

Barbara Serra is a presenter with AJE in London. She is of Milanese origin and has an educational background in Journalism and International Relations. I can relate, with my background in Media and Cultural Studies. Serra began her career with the BBC as a researcher. 

As a postgraduate student, and then as a staff writer and now a deputy editor, I've been trained and have researched material within the realms of education, culture, entertainment, the F&B industry, politics and many more. Articles I've consequently had published include items covering the World Innovation Summit for Education (WISE), the taboo posed by psychiatric aid, and the worldwide phenomenon that is Indian cuisine. For arguments sake, let’s say I could do that BBC research job.

Years on, she now presents several sociocultural programs on the AJE network, such as one of my personal favourites, ‘Street Food’, alongside news reading from the London offices. Serra is also the first non-native English speaker to have EVER presented the news on British television. 

But who are these people really? Do they care what we feel or what we say? Why do we write our blogs, update our Facebook’s and tweet relentlessly issues they publish? Is anyone listening? They should do. And yes, you'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out why.

Self-Delusion, Self-Loathing and Al Jazeera - Part 1

One of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do was when I was recently asked to complete a self-appraisal exercise. This was one of several parts of a personal and professional evaluation, aimed at helping to guide me towards the next step in life and more specifically, my career.

Now, although the appraisal was an essentially for-my-eyes-only guideline, at each section I found myself faltering and becoming increasingly exasperated with the task and most surprisingly, with myself.

“Am I really that passionate about writing?” “Do I have a promising career in television?” “Should I really jot down the London Triathlon?” All these questions and many more were playing on my conscience and although I did complete the task, I wasn’t close to satisfied with the end result.

Most of us, even the luckier ones, have at some stage been faced with the ugly truth of how difficult the job hunt has become. Asides from having plunged myself into the deep end of an unbelievably saturated industry, where I often feel like the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland, i.e. utterly in awe with my counterparts, I am also attempting to do so in markets that are still recovering from the bellowing hammer fall of the economic crisis.

Unfortunately, unlike Alice, I do not have a wise, hookah-smoking caterpillar called Absalom to ask for advice. I suppose I could be happy with the opportunity that I’ve got and continue to live my life knowing full well how many people would kill for the career choices I’ve been afforded thus far. However – and although I do love a good fairy tale – I refuse to allow these circumstances to anchor my ambition.

Today I received my daily dose of blogger genius via revolutionary entrepreneur, author, public speaker and THE authority on permission marketing, the inspirational Seth Godin. Having recently been introduced to Godin’s work, the no nonsense, make it or break it attitude that would usually have put me off – refer back to my liking fairy tales – continues to intrigue me with each new blog post delivered to my email inbox. Today’s topic, ‘Self-delusion and self-loathing’, needless to say inspired this piece of self-reckoning.

Now, you can all read the post for yourselves (as you should, as well as subscribing to his everyday feed) but this got me thinking. “Support yourself with the truth” says Godin. Yesterday, I contacted one of the executive producers at the Al Jazeera English offices in London. I told him who I was, what I was looking for, the reason I want to join AJE & the shows I could see myself becoming a part of. I also noted my work experience, the appropriate references and all that jazz.

Said producer came back to me with an incredibly polite, concise and to-the-point answer, “thank you for your interest, but with no experience in television, we can’t hire you in the news department.” Side note: I never stated any desire to work in the news department and had formerly been offered an internship at AJE headquarters in Doha, Qatar. I turned this down because as a fresh BA graduate, I felt I still had more to accomplish before joining the ranks of a network as prestigious as this media giant.

Three years, one postgraduate degree and a handful of intense work experience later, I'm not what they are looking for? Take a second guess. And tomorrow, I'll tell you why.

SKY Is Not The Limit

So here I am, up after a gorgeous nap (have to get my beauty sleep in sometime). I'd had a lovely day thus far. Woke up in good spirits in spite of my late night slumber, with a 'go get em' attitude and a whole lot of job applications bookmarked for hard labour during the day.

Now, although I know the ethics of applying for jobs whilst at your current place of work may be somewhat... hmm... questionable, let's say, I do have to point out that the publication with which I work has quite literally just gone to print, meaning we are on the cusp of a PR drought - which will typically only ease a fun two weeks before the next deadline, but this is besides the point. 

In effect, there's not much I could have been doing, and with my seniors knowing full well my intention of departing our buzzing towers of literary genius, and their blessings (there were also tears, rude words and a fun rendition of Phil Collins's 'You'll be in My Heart') in tow, let's just say I wasn't exactly fighting with my conscience over this one. 

Anyway, back to my rude awakening, courtesy of the Sky Talent Resourcing Team.

A couple of days ago I had confidently applied for a job posting with the renowned network for a position as Fashion & Beauty Journalist. I like Sky. I think they are one of the least nonsense ridden, concise and 'true to their nature' networks on television. Which isn't to say I wouldn't work for them if I thought they were as biased as FOX during the American elections in '08, but this was a bonus. Besides, who isn't biased, really? Also, considering the job I was applying for, there was no fear of me getting tangled up in any heated political debate, much less an ill-fitting mascara wand or Paris Hilton's latest substance abuse disaster or whatever the kids are doing these days so, yeah. Sky. 

No. Not Sky. Not this time anyway. This is what they said,

"We really appreciate the time and effort you put into your application, however after due consideration, we're unable to take your application any further in relation to this position.  Unfortunately due to the high number of applications we receive, we are unable to provide feedback on your application."

Ok, so let me get this right. The criteria for the job included:

* Sourcing and originating content, images and video

* Researching and writing content

* Subbing copy and checking for legal issues

* Publishing content onto the site

* Monitoring site statistics

* Keeping on top of the fashion and beauty news

* Dealing with PRs and agents

* Conducting interviews and attending press conferences

* Covering major fashion and beauty events

You get the gist. Potential candidates should ideally possess the following:

* NCTJ or equivalent qualification and educated to degree level.

* Specialist knowledge of entertainment including fashion, beauty entertainment and celebrities.

* Demonstrable experience as a fashion and beauty journalist with Online experience

* Experience of writing for a web audience

* Excellent and accurate English

* Full understanding of MS Internet Explorer & HTML

* Intense interest and love of fashion, beauty, entertainment and celebrity gossip

* Strong instinct and news judgment for the Sky Showbiz audience

Are you all with me so far? Ok. So here I am. I am a media major from one of the top universities in Australia. I have a postgraduate degree in a field that allows me a better understanding of cultural traditions and expectations via the media. Last time I checked, England was a multicultural nation, no? So, for the sake of this argument, let's make this a score on my side of the tally board.

I have been a writer and an editor for an internationally renowned LUXURY LIFESTYLE  publication (ahem, yea, hello Sky? Really? No light bulbs going off for ya?), which has allowed me the pleasure (and sometimes, the horror) of working with some of the most renowned names in fashion (Marc Jacobs, Dior), international couturiers (Stéphane Rolland) and cosmetic brands alike (Nexus, Clarins, Make Up 4ever). The publication rests in such a comfortable position within its 'counterparts' that we find ourselves spoilt for choice in terms of content, guaranteeing a long list of eager contacts, with which I have built successful working relationships. Oh, and just as an afterthought, I can rattle off the Paris Fashion Week runway line up off the top of my head. Another point on my side of the tally? Don't mind if I do.

I have freelanced and catered for the campaign needs of magnanimous fairs organisers and headed a massive project, that was the first of my duties as deputy editor, putting together a 172 page travel publication for one of the most notoriously picky clients, in under two months. Working under pressure? Tick. Writing for an online audience? Tick. Dealing with PR agents and attending conferences? Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Please let me clarify at this point. I am not bullying Sky's decision. On the contrary. If I felt there had been an injustice (ah, maybe a little one, considering how ridiculously awesome I am) the tone of this post would have been ENTIRELY different. 

My point is this: I am beyond qualified for this position. I understand and wholly appreciate the role extensive experience may play in a decision like this. I, however, am stuck in the purgatory that is the space of time between being considered a 'Graduate/Apprentice' applicant and a 'Young Professional'. What's with all the labels anyway? To be honest, considering the outstanding number of dedicated, creative, little fashionista bloggers, Im not all that surprised. 

What I am, is disappointed.

Frankly, I feel I've been overlooked. I do not count this as an injustice because as the lovely Sky recruitment team noted in their email to me (and as above) they must get outstanding numbers of applications avalanching through daily, therefore logically, replying to every other failed applicant is not an option. Which leaves me at a crossroads. 

Applications take time, applications take tremendous effort and as you would all know, rejection is draining. When (if ever) will I be considered good enough for Sky? Will someone tell me when I am right for them? Will I ever get the feedback I need to understand what it is I am lacking? If I seem such a bloody perfect fit for this particular application on paper, I must be missing something if I did not even get an inquisitive phone call? 

I do not question my capabilities or my ambition. I do not question my inevitable success or my determination. I do not question Sky's professionalism and would still love the chance to work amidst their "culture of opportunity" and to be able to do "the best work of my life". 

But where do I go from here? I am open to your suggestions.

Note: This is a wholly personal expression of experience and is in no way meant to dissuade/influence individuals' decisions to work with Sky. My job hunt is ongoing and this is by no means a white flag. And before any of you smart arses say anything, I am working applications faster and harder than a shearer with a hand piece in a scorching New Zealand summer. And I will continue to do so. 

Ps. I will be moving from the blogspot address soon - too many glitches. Will keep you all posted.

Lonely Planet

I've always known that I have the attention span and focus of a fruit fly. I can be incredibly patient and tolerant of certain situations, particularly when the object/person in question is close to my heart. However, in saying that I have to be completely honest and say that a lot of the time I am incredibly flakey, change my mind far too much and am not the stubborn, determined person I'd like to think myself to be. When things get hard I often backtrack. Somehow I always manage to come out smelling like roses, because if the situation involves others I even remotely care about, I will not leave the situation without remedy. Its an incredibly frustrating habit, that need to please, to ensure everyone is happy, even if it often leaves me feeling hollow and much unlike the other party, incredibly dissatisfied and frustrated with the fact that I almost end up back at square one.

I dont know if this is making any sense at the moment, so Ill get to the point. I know I need to stop with the cowardice and laziness. Thats what it is really. There is no other explanation. I have the tools to do what I want, I have the knowledge to take me there and all I need is myself and this belief to be able to get that step further in my career/ relationships/ health, etc.

An example of this is my current situation with my triathlon training - sorry, I know Im going on about it a fair bit but I dont think many people realise how hard this is. No-one, not the people I live with, people I work with or my closest friends know how this feels. My colleagues constantly take the piss, others think Im 'overdoing' my 'workouts' and even my mate who's wedding I will attend as a bridesmaid is upset with me in intervals due to my lack of excitement over particular outings and my recent - and admitted - scatterbrained demeanour. Dont get me wrong, I dont blame anyone for their lack of acknowledgement. I know Im not going to get a pat on the back or an hour early off work so I can actually have some dinner before I workout or whatever, but its at this stage, when things get tough, and not just people's general attitudes, but my personal belief in my ability to complete the task at hand is shaken, this is when I backtrack.

Someone I look up to a great deal spoke with me about the direction of this blog only the other night. This is pretty much a whole lot of nothing thrown together with some pretty pictures, I know that. My dream is pretty clear to me though, and that is to work for the likes of Lonely Planet, writing for their magazine or traveler guide books. Why? Because I have so much love and passion for so many different things. I get obsessive and overtly emotional with things like music, the weather, people, food, languages, mannerisms, etc.

From a day I spent in London an odd 7 years ago, I remember things like the delicious, steaming baked potato I ate in some dingy alley, whilst trying to get some feeling back in my fingers, walking round the city gloveless in late December. A weekend I spent in Woolloomooloo (yes, its a real place. Its an Aboriginal name) has me dreaming about the incredibly salty anchovy pizza I feasted on in a cosy Italian restaurant where I was served by a young guy with awful tattoos, next door to one of the most charming bottle-o's I'd ever entered. There was also the hotel I stayed at with the lock on the front door, which when taking into consideration the terrifying block around the corner from the hotel with dozens of homeless people strewn around corners of abandoned houses, was not such a bad idea. Two streets down is pretty much the artisan, hippy heart of Sydney, rows of tiny, charming cafes, bookshops, antique stores, restaurants and galleries where I spent two of the best nights of my life in Australia. Tony and Bill's latte's at 1am, people watching as beautiful, arty folk waltzed past, with their charm bracelets, leather jackets and suede loafers as cliché Italian pop washed over the eclectic mix of people sipping on like latte's, espressos and deliciously creamy and crispy cannoli. 

See what I mean? I can ramble for hours when it comes to travel. Nothing brings it all together like a trip abroad. The point? Why would Lonely Planet hire ME? What do I have that INCREDIBLE presenters like Toby Amies and Asha Gill dont? I've been wanting to write a mock script for the show and shoot a reel to send through to LP for months now. Months. And I still haven't done anything about it. I sit and dream. Is it cowardice? Is it laziness? What's holding me back? I just dont know.

Normal chirpy service will resume soon, promise. And if you scrolled through this and cant be fucked reading the entire bloody thing as I clearly have issues with sticking to a word count, please watch the video below. Ian Wright is my all time favourite Lonely Planet presenter. You can find clips of his travels with LP on Youtube. This is a clip of him doing a talk in NY about some of the funnier things he's come across as a presenter. Lucky bastard.